What: Boy and Toys

No, not THAT kind of toys you perv (I like your brain activity ;)). The other kind, the kind that involved humans and feelings and all that load of crap. Here’s my moody sad khdjfbwejfhb thoughts:

Ever since my 21st birthday this year, my “romantic” (what? :P) life has been a roller coaster. It all started out with George who I sort of met on my birthday, who went through unethical means of finding my number. Who I allowed to sweet talk me into sort of falling for him. I was an idiot, I didn’t know how to handle the situations that I was put in. After a while, I knew for sure that I didn’t want to be with him, but I still wanted him to want me. Does that make me a spoiled bitch? Maybe, but that’s how I felt. Especially after what he put me through, I felt like he owed it to me? I can’t explain, but again it’s how I felt. I don’t regret anything that I did with him. I do have a very um, wild side which I try my best to hide. Mainly because I fear being judged and labeled and all that jazz. With him though, I did things that I thought I would never do (even if I would have liked to try). The only thing I regret is how I handled things with him. I let him have control, I let him manipulate me, I let him sweet talk. It’s my fault because I let him.  ya3ebeshooum

I have learned my lesson (nshallah), and next time I won’t be to naive and gullible. 

I now sort of understand why other girls toy with boys, it’s because boys toy with girls too and noone likes to be toyed with. Since you can’t be sure you’re being toyed with or not, you gotta get your hands dirty and play the game. It sucks, but that’s the truth. Life ain’t full of hippies. 

When did I get here?

I went from being the girl who did nothing, to the girl who did a lot.

I’m growing up, that’s fucking scary. 

I don’t wanna grow up.

I’m really scared of what’s next in life. (Boys or others)

What’s going to happen to me?

I’ll become an alcoholic bum on the street.

That’s what.

Keskon

Mimi is Sad